Clean Up Woman ~ Color My World

I don’t claim to be an expert housekeeper but years of supervised cleaning (by a full-time working, MA-holding, allergic-to-dust, no-maid-mother-of-five Mama) has rendered me somewhat knowledgeable in the art of cleaning both fast and furiously (Dad + Mum + 3 bros + me + kid sis doesn’t leave much recovery time between cleaning sessions). So by popular demand from career-girl-homies who don’t like (or know how tsktsktsk) to clean ~  here’s a post on how to best clean your Casa Del Amor (that’s Espanyol for ‘house of lurrvvee’, my language-challenged younglings!). Only the basics, mind you ~ if you pass Level 1 I may consider getting you to Level 2, FOC hehe. Also I should mention these tips apply primarily to Asian homes (climatic conditions taken into consideration *nods*). Boys please read and learn! Here we go…

Raking – DON’T hold your rake like a broom! It doesn’t work that way (brooms generally go from left to right, semi-gently). It’s called a rake for a reason y’know. Look up the verb definition: “Scratch or scrape”/ “Draw or drag” with long movements best sums it up. So don’t be a wuss. The teeth HAVE to drag on the soil or you’ll spend ages wussy raking. Rake from outside in i.e. you’re supposed to drag the leaves towards you. Work to gathering the leaves in a circle / pile. What you do later depends on the ruling Department of Environment of your country/state (burn it/ bundle it etc). I’m not accountable ;p

Sweeping – I once saw a good friend sweeping outside in towards herself. I swear, angels wept… please, DON’T hold your broom like a rake! Sweeping should be light (unless your house has dust bunnies of steel ~ shame on you!) and the movement shouldn’t be too long or far (‘cos your dust may go flying / you’ll miss some on the way). Instead of collecting the dust in the middle of a room, I sweep towards a corner. Switch off all fans/ airconditioning before you start! Also instead of using a dustpan to collect the dust, I prefer to corner the dust pile with several sprays of glass cleaner and use toilet paper to wipe it up. Even dust in the bin has a chance of flying out eventually (making your kitchen or wherev you keep the bin dusty). Which brings me to the next point ~

Bins – Hardly anybody takes out the garbage daily, especially if you have those cute little bins in different rooms. Take heed! Little bins are NOT meant for dusty/ smelly/ wet dirt. Their “scientific” (hah) name is waste paper bin. Geddit? Made for bits of tissue/ make-up blotting paper/ cigarette boxes. Keep ONE bin for wet or gross waste. Make sure you line all your bins with paper/plastic bags. Maybe I’m a little OTT but I rinse out milk cartons/ egg shells / soda cans before I chuck them in the kitchen bin. I drain soup bowls and I compost everything else. For onion / banana peel etc. I tie them up in a separate plastic bag (not proud of it but what’s one to do? Plastic is sometimes necessary). Remember, house lizards, ants and rats are just something all Asians have to deal with *shivers* but that doesn’t mean you have to feed them.

Mopping – I use Kiwi Kleen. It’s cheap and leaves my tiled floor all shiny. The scent isn’t overwhelming either. Follow the instructions ~ more is NOT better. I also use a traditional old-skool mop. MORE IS NOT BETTER. Don’t overload your mop with water. You’ll end up sloshing, slipping and *touch wood* maybe falling. 

Those draining cover mop pails are heaven sent. I grew up squeezing the mop with my bare hands and trust me, you don’t wanna do that -_- Mop from the outer room inwards (don’t go stepping over the areas you already mopped). Opposite of sweeping, switch ON all fans/ airconditioning before you start (try to aim them at the floor, they’ll dry faster. It helps to wear rubber Japanese slippers while you mop ~ you leave less tracks that way. Personally I mop to a corner so I can wipe up the bits of hair or hard dust gathered with toilet paper. And if you’re like my Mum who’s very sensitive and allergic to what she calls “synthetic scents” use Vinegar instead of Kiwi Kleen. For the record, my fave Kiwi is Red (rose scented).

Dusting – I don’t dust. I polish my furniture once a fortnight so dust doesn't fly (did I mention I’m allergic too?). Pledge is good for wood. Glass cleaner works for table tops and electronic equipment. MORE IS NOT BETTER! You don’t want to get electricuted do you? Those non-textured car-polishing cloths are much better for polishing compared to normal fuzzy tea towels. Expensive but they’re well worth it. And don’t be lazy. Wash them out with detergent after you use them *peers at audience over glasses*. If you must dust, do yourself a favour and dust before you sweep/ mop (you ARE gonna sweep/ mop after, right?).

Glass Polishing – Any glass cleaner should do it (I use GoodMaid Glassex – I know right? That name! LOL) but the secret to a really shiny surface is to use newspaper rolled in a ball to shine the surface again after you’ve wiped off the glass cleaner! I jest you not! SHINY! SPARKLY! *schwwinnnggg* (sound effect yo). Works on windows (including your car windows) too. Basically every glass surface you want shined. 

Cup/ Kettle Coffee/ Tea Stains – LEMONS! Most people will advise you to slice the lemon and scrub the cup/ kettle with the lemon quarter before rinsing it out. DON’T. Instead, BOIL the sliced lemon (skin and all) in the kettle, pour out the juice into the stained cups while still hot then later when it’s cooled, SCRUB both kettle and cups with the peel and juice before rinsing it out and scrubbing it again with dishwashing detergent and hard back sponge.

"To heart, take my words. 

And may the force be with you ~ yes, hmmm..."