This is a post of some of the things my older brother’s kids have said or done which I find amusing (some secretly ‘cos I believe in giving munchkins due respect when possible). My nephew’s 14 now so he’s not quite as funny as he used to be (tween growing pains!), but his sisters (9 and 7) still say some pretty funny shite.
(picture taken a few years back, when we were all younger and cuter)
Here we go...
1) Nevvie told me repeatedly he didn't want the last piece of cake then had the audacity to be shocked when I ate it, saying he was only being polite.
Yes, this is what he looked like. Sorry, too late! *burp*
2) Niece 1 said I looked smarter than usual... ‘cos I was wearing my glasses. Guess I normally look dumber than this.
3) Niece 1 was once squalling away in the living room (she fell down and hurt her knee). So everyone was gathered round her, patting and comforting and clucking away. Niece 2, who doesn’t relish being away from the spotlight, left the room and returned twirling a hula hoop. She was 3. So everyone stops fussing around Niece 1 to laugh and cheer Niece 2. Niece 1 then burst into a fresh flood of tears (but the moment was like totally gone).
Fckin funny shite. You had to be there...
4) I once had a 2-hour conversation with Niece 1 about Spongebob’s best friend Patrick. According to her, “He HAS a surname, Aunty! His full name is Patrick Star!” Kinda took me back with her enthusiasm there.
And here I thought he was just Patrick the idiotic cartoon starfish.
5) Niece 1 and Niece 2 once had a major verbal blow-out in the family room. Excerpts of their emotional exchange as follows *hehe*
Niece 1: Leave me alone! I told you I don’t want to play! Don’t be stupid!
Niece 2: How can you say that to me?? I’m your SISTER! Mama told you not to bully me! You’re supposed to do what I say!! I’m SMALL!!!!
Niece 1: You’re not small anymore!
Niece 2: HOW CAN YOU CALL ME FAT?? Papa TOLD you not to call me fat!! I’m telling Papa!!
Niece 1: I DIDN’T call you fat! I just said you’re not small!!
Niece 2: THAT’S THE SAME THING!! You called me fat and stupid!!
Niece 1: I DIDN’T!!!
(After I choked down the overwhelming hysterical laughter I intervened. They were fine within an hour)
6) Nevvie got a CSL Spice. Most of the men in my family carry Iphones (I’m a Blackberry girl meself, go figure). Excerpts of Niece 1 and Niece 2’s phone discussion *snort*
Niece 2: What’s the difference?? Uncle Mang (that’s my younger brother btw) and Grandpa (my Dad) use Iphone. Isn’t it the same as Spice? They look the same.
Niece 1: It’s not the same. Papa said they’re different.
Niece 2: But what’s the difference?
Niece 1: Iphone is Apple, so it has an apple picture on it.
Niece 2: So what does Spice have?
Niece 1: Let’s go look. I think it should have a Chili because Chili is a Spice.
Me: *choke on Chinese tea*
VS
Nope, no Chili. Don’t worry, they lost interest before they even reached the family room (or their brother chased them away from his new phone)
My little tween cousins (Dad’s youngest brother’s kids) also provide much amusement. To illustrate:
7) Tween Girl Cousin is seriously "in love" with Justin Bieber. She refers to Bieber fans as "BelieBers" (geddit? “Bieber BELIEVERS”= BelieBers). Dang nearly choked on my coffee when I heard that one. Call me outdated, I’m not in the business of keeping up with tween stars! Annyywaayyy... she was mournfully singing along to him the day he played in Kuala Lumpur, all depressed ‘cos she couldn’t go. At the time of this entree, Bieber is (according to Tween Girl Cousin’s facebook) sick. Tween Girl Cousin has been actively campaigning online for all BelieBers(!) to pray for his speedy recovery. She cries at the thought of Bieber on his deathbed.
I so wanted to ask her, “Bieber got a Fever?” but I didn’t want to make her cry
8) Sometimes I think tweens spend way too much time online. I was recently sent on an errand to Tween Girl Cousin’s house to send fruit to her parents. So I drive all the way across town, beep and honk, holler and yell outside the house gate and no one comes out. Even though they were TOLD to expect me. I call and call the house phone but no one picks up. Finally....
2 minutes later she emerges from the house. Apparently, all I had to do was FaceBLOODYbook mobile WRITE on her wall. I laughed at it the next day -_-
Yes I love our munchkins. They make every “serious” problem seem silly. They put things in perspective. Plus, they adore me and think I’m famous:
They’re not old enough to know what PR people do or what a press release is *sssshhhhhhhhh*
